Friday started off as a great day. My college friend, Young, was in town, and we headed to Not Your Average Joe’s in Lansdowne for dinner.
The kids had been extraordinarily good all day, but they were getting a bit restless. Serena was a little clingy, and my husband, SJ, took her for a walk outside the restaurant as we waited for our food.
After the meal SJ headed out with Colin. “Can you help Serena down from her booster?” SJ asked me. I did and she followed closely behind SJ and Colin as they walked down the aisle. Young and I stayed behind with Bennett, paying the bill and cleaning up the handfulls of food that Bennett had thrown/dropped under the table.
As SJ and Colin came back to the table, I saw an older woman approaching us, holding Serena’s hand. The woman glared and me and asked,”does she belong to you??!”
I took Serena’s hand as I tried to piece together what was happening. The room seemed to get blurry and move in slow motion as the woman kept talking.
“She was wandering outside, about to cross the street!” she said, shooting me a look that teetered between anger and disgust. I thanked her and crouched down to talk to Serena. I guess the woman walked away; I didn’t notice her after that.
Apparently Serena had followed SJ and Colin, who didn’t realize she was behind them. She didn’t notice when the boys veered left to go to the bathroom. She continued through two doors to the outside (someone held one door open for her), where she and SJ had strolled earlier. She later told me that when she couldn’t find SJ she looked around a little and then told a family walking by that she had “losted her daddy.”
It took me a few minutes to process all of this; to me, Serena was found before I knew she was lost. When I finally grasped what had happened, I was overwhelmed. The magnitude of what could have happened hit me like a ton of bricks, and mental pictures of worst-case scenarios raced through my mind. My heart ached thinking of my precious three year old in a pink sundress and pigtails pacing the sidewalk of a busy street, frightened and sucking her fingers as she scanned the crowd.
I hugged her close, and we talked about what happened. Young and I walked with her to Starbucks for some quiet time and hot chocolate. She said she had been scared, and she said several times that she was “sorry she got losted,” although I assured her that I wasn’t angry. We talked about not wandering off, and I praised her for asking a grownup for help. Thank God she was brave and savvy enough to approach that family (or at least to answer their questions if they actually approached her.)
That night we rehashed the incident a hundred times, trying to figure out what had happened, and where we went wrong. SJ and I realized that our error had been in the handoff. I was sure she was with him, but he thought she was with me. We’ve resolved to be better about doing checking in when we leave with the kids, and to warn them about wandering off.
The whole thing has freaked the hell out of me. That night I burst into tears in her room when I saw her safely asleep in her bed. I picked her up and brought her to sleep with us. I held her all night, needing her physically close to know she was safe.
I guess that it’s good to get a reminder that we can never be too diligent in protecting our kids.
What haunts me is how very much worse it could have been, and knowing that I’ll never be able to protect her from everything.
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April 25, 2008 at 5:11 am
Amishi B
Hi. I read your blog off and on, but the timing of what you wrote or rather thought could happen is alarming. I was right there this afternoon with my 2 kids near the defunct fountains. We were playing just like other little ones that come with their moms for some running and ice cream. There were some teens with skating boards there, just like I see them almost everytime we go there. Only this time, where the cars are parked near that stage type structure on the grass, there was a man in a car with running engine, just sitting there the entire 20- 25 mins I was there. He just kept looking at those boys with the skates, and since I was right near that structure, not less than 30 feet away…Call it instinct or whatever, i just felt uneasy. Deciding to just go home, by the time I could convince my little ones to pack up, this guy had rolled down to near the boys and struck up a conversation with them. Maybe he knew them but again maybe he did not. Like you said…worst case scenarios can happen..anywhere and anytime. Maybe I just have an over active mind…but I still cannot shake off that feeling of unease. hence I am replying to you, something which I would generally never do on a public platform. This world has become a scary place, and although I did not mean to scare you anymore than you already are..its better 2 be safe than sorry.
April 25, 2008 at 6:02 pm
LoCo Loca
Yikes! It is definitely a scary world out there!
You’re instincts are probably right; that guy was probably sketchy.
Makes me want to Lo-Jack my kids!
April 28, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Lotsaloco
OMG - We totally had a similar experience just yesterday with our precious 3 year old. We were shopping at Kohl’s and I was standing in the ridiculously long line with a pile of new dresses for Miss 3YO. My husband was not a far distance away with our baby in his arms and Miss 3YO decided to play hide and seek - without informing either of us. DH looks over at me and mouths “where is Miss 3YO?” and I respond with a blank face. He starts calling her name.. I start calling her name - the clerk calls out a code yellow or something on the intercom. Now I’m totally freaking out - CODE YELLOW? And I abandon my place in line and start screaming her name at the top of my voice. DH runs outside in a panic. I think literally one minute later.. Miss 3YO appears… out of nowhere and says.. “Hi mommy! I was hiding!” The clerk cancels the code yellow… and I stoop down and quietly, but firmly, lecture my daughter that she scared us.. that someone could have taken her away from us. It lingered into the night - I think my words really hit home and scared her badly. If it weren’t for the fact that my littlest was sick - I probably would have done the exact same thing and taken her to bed with us. Frankly, I think she turned around her fear fairly quickly at bedtime after a good conversation about the day with her Daddy. But.. whew… we do not need these kinds of fearful events. At least, I sure don’t!
April 29, 2008 at 3:21 pm
LoCo Loca
Oh, man, that sucks! Obviously, I can relate!
It was hard enough to be a parent when they stayed in their strollers and/or clung to our legs. This whole “mind of their own” thing is tough!